I spent the last 38 hours at my parents' place. they're CRAZY. for real. i love them more than leonard cohen loves despair, but they positively drive me bonkers. they feed me, then lecture on why i haven't graduated yet. they converse with me, then lecture on why i haven't gotten married yet. they buy me socks and underwear, then lecture on why i don't know what the word for "socks" is, in Urdu. yeesh. i really do love them, more than i can express, but GOOD GOD, when will it STOP?
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ugh. i smoke FAAAAAR too much. or at least when i'm drinking. which, these days, is FAAAAAAR too little.

being on this whole math stint, i've figured out that: i have been smoking (on and off) for 2/5th's of my life; schooling for 4/5th's; chasing men for oh, around half of my life. Chasing men, when I've had an ACTUAL chance-- 1/5th of my lifetime.

Through it all, I have smoked.

I really want to stop. REALLY WANT TO STOP.

i would like to request, that anyone reading this, SLAP me upside the head, if they see me smoking. "Kumquat" is the safety word.

I'm down from a pack-a-day to 3-4 cancer sticks a day. HELP me.

location: your couch. go on. see if i'm there. mood: silly